the thrill of losing weight wears off and maintenance is a thoughtless product of my habit.
today i ate a carrot and an egg and some oatmeal and then half a block of ramen with pepper and lemon and 1/4 of chocolate ice cream and a brownie which came to a total of 590 calories
and then i burned 800 calories on the elliptical and took exlax
fuck i feel really fat and lazy and slow and stupid so fucking stupid and fat